Should I tell him I have herpes?

Let’s flip the script: Should he tell you he has herpes?

You know you have herpes but you haven’t told your partner. That’s the same way you probably got herpes, someone didn’t tell you that they had it either. Would you have wanted to know? Herpes is a sexually transmitted disease that spreads through ANY type of sexual contact. Yes, as long as body fluids are mixing, so can the virus. Condoms don’t always prevent the spread. People who are infected with herpes can get painful sores in the genital area. Some people don’t get outbreaks but they can still spread the virus because it is constantly present. Medication can help reduce the intensity of an outbreaks but can never cure herpes. For pregnant women, herpes can affect the baby so you must let the ob doctor know to give you medication to reduce the chances of an outbreak around the time of delivery. So, should you tell?

It’s really up to you. This a not a “damned if you do, damned if you don’t” kind of situation. Herpes is not a death sentence and many, many people have the virus even if they don’t get outbreaks. If you do tell him, you’re being honest, decent, and mature. You’re giving him a chance to protect himself even if this means breaking up with you. Very rarely have I seen breakups happen just because of a herpes diagnosis but I have seen drama over herpes deception. That’s when you choose to keep the information to yourself, pretending that you forgot you had it or claiming you didn’t know how to tell him. Women act like they don’t understand why the man feels hurt. Guys are people with feelings too! If he finds out you’ve known all this while, that would really sting and he would certainly feel unloved. Switch shoes with him. Feel it?

Telling him is really simple if you want a steady relationship built on trust and maybe even real love 🙂 If you’ve just been diagnosed with herpes, now’s the best time to spill the beans. You may not know how long you’ve had it or where you got it from. He might have even given it to you! (That’s another blog post). He may also have herpes and he’s been scared to tell you. What a relief for both of you. Now you can clear the air, and tell some more truths to each other. If things don’t work out, at least your conscience is clear. If he stays, you both move up to the next level.

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